Ramblage

I decided that I would write this quick blog post. I don't really know what about just yet, we'll just have to see what happens- the ultimate ramble. 

Today I counted. I only have to go to work 8 more times before I become a for-realsie SAHM (that means stay at home mom-for those of you that weren't in the know, now you are.) That's right ladies and gents, {although I'm pretty sure there are <5 gents that read my blog} I'm quitting my job to do... nothing. Or am I quitting my job to do everythin? I'm a little curious to see how I adjust from full time working mom to full time mom. I have a few projects to keep me occupied for the transition:

1. Ian starting solid foods! 
2. finish that blanket I started shortly after discovering I was pregnant.
3. clean my filthy, grimy, yucky apartment. 
4. feed my husband (and myself) actual meals. 
5. paint my toesies. 

Not necessarily in that order. Actually if you just switch #2 and #3, I guess it is. Hopefully it occupies me enough that I don't drive anyone (namely Ben) insaine. 

Side note: I noticed that I interrupt myself A LOT.

Parentheses are my friend. 

Do you think this might be an early sign of mental instability,

or perhaps it's a indication of an active mind?

...Let's go with the latter.

Has anyone else noticed how AMAZING my husband is? I mean, dang! He's working and schooling at the same time so I can just focus on moming and wifeing. (yes, those are indeed verbs. At least now they are.) I don't really know many men that are selfless enough to do that. Then again, I don't really know many men. Plus he's hot, smart and funny. Yep, I got the whole package. (that feeling you have right now? That would be envy ;} )

I'm so excited, I'm going to use some of this time to find what I'm good at. Don't get me wrong, I think I'm a great person, wife, mom... but I don't really know what THING I'm good at. You know? That probably, didn't make any sense. I kind of feel like a present that hasn't been unwrapped yet. Like, who doesn't love presents with the shiny paper, ribbons and bows and other glorious embellishments? Even with the fanciest paper and sparkiest extras, what really matters is what's inside of the present. I'm just excited to use the up coming years to see what's inside of this extremely physically attractive present ;)  Just kidding, I promise I'm not really that vain, I just couldn't resist; the metaphor was too good of a set up. 

oh look a cute baby:

So Much For Sanity

You know how some times life just happens and it keeps happening and before you know it it's been two months since your last blog post? Well I sure do. I'm not even sure where to begin...

I suppose I'll start with the part where I went crazy. At the end of May my very best friend in the world got married, and you know I HAD to be there. However, since Ben is in school this semester and then there's always work to worry about, he wasn't able to make it. Which means it was just me and Ian (at three months old)...in a car... for 917 miles. Actually, it went better than you might think-still no peaches and cream, but we made it from A to B in a similar mental condition to when we left. Instead of putting him to bed at night in his bed I tucked him into his car seat and drove as far as I could only stopping for gas. Since he sleeps through the night pretty well I made it over half of the way before I had to do anything baby related. It ended up that the first time he woke up we had made it to my friend's house where she kindly let me take care of Ian, fed me and watched him while I caught up on a bit of sleep. The good news is that I had already been through the newborn stage with Ian so no sleep at all is really just a touch under what I was used to. After morning came is when things got rough. I had to stop every so often to feed him, meaning the second half of our journey took about twice as long (or more) than it should have. Then somewhere in the middle of the Arizona desert I had to pull over and try to calm Ian down. After that much time in a car seat I probably would have been screaming inconsolably for 20 minutes too. I figured out that singing hymns is the only way he would be in the carseat and happy content. After about the 80th time through  each of "families can be together forever,"  "a child's prayer," and "I love to see the temple" I pulled up to my in-laws with a very sore throat and heavy eyelids. The way back went much better in that it didn't take near as long and worse in that there was a $90 speeding ticket involved. ("Do you know how fast you were going?"... is that a trick question, officer?)  I was hoping Ian would start screaming his head off and the officer may have let me off with a warning, but of course he was happy as a clam, cooing and carrying on... figures. 

During the week that we were in Arizona, I reached the conclusion that being a single mom sucks. Now, since Ben is in school and works, he's not able to do a whole ton of stuff with Ian, but it's nice to be able to hand him off while I take an extra long bath or not having to change all of the diapers or having that extra pair of hands when I need to make the most an hour. Also, Ben is really awesome at carrying the carseat for me, I built some serious muscles during the week I had to do all the baby hauling. 

When we got back from Arizona I had one day to recover and then I started back to work. It's now been one month that I have been back and I hate it. I hate leaving the baby that I LOVE with all the fibers of my being to go and do a job that I am less than crazy about. My co-workers are still awesome, even though they're mostly different from the ones I left when I went on maternity leave. Almost everyday I come home and remind Ben about me wanting to quit my job- I'll wear him down soon enough. We never intended for me to return to work for very long, I just think we had different definitions of "not very long;" for me it was a few weeks, for Ben it was a few months. It's mostly so I can pay off all of the insurance premiums that didn't get deducted from the paychecks I wasn't earning on maternity leave. I'm starting to wonder if insurance is even worth having... Someday when I don't work anymore I'll be able to clean my apartment and possibly even cook meals again! Back before I was a mom, I always thought that I would want to be a working mom, because staying at home, and "not doing anything" would drive me nuts. I was wrong- so very, very wrong. After having maternity leave and returning to work again I can now say that there is no job or career that can ever measure up to being the person that is here to take care of my home and my young family.

Anywho! That's life lately. Nothing too exciting I know, but really, what where you expecting?

{Moral Of the Story} 

Don't go back to work after having a baby, it will just break your heart.  

Parenthood

Now, I've only been a mom for about two months, so please understand that I do not claim to be an expert in this area at all. One time, while holding my new son, I found myself thinking about things that good parents do or, equally important I think, things that they do NOT do. I've come to just a few conclusions and I thought that I might share them with you for no other reason than this is my blog and I'll do with it what I please. :) 

I believe that every interaction that we have with our children we are teaching them something, intentional or otherwise. Now, maybe that something is that they should clean their room or maybe that something is that when you would like someone to complete a task (such as...oh I don't know: cleaning their room) the most effective way to do so is to yell and scream and get all huffy. I know you're probably thinking that is most certainly not the best way to get an individual to do something. But, if you review, I never said that the things we teach our children are always going to be correct. Therefore, it is crucial that we live the kind of lives we expect them to live; no more of the "Do as I say, not as I do."

I also believe that how we interact with others (our children included) effects their sociability. If we are constantly setting and example of patience or otherwise, I believe that our children will either follow suit or always live in a manner that is reactive to their experiences. For example, a child that is constantly being yelled at for one thing or another could grow to easily loose their temper with others or may also grow to shy away from people in anticipation of being at the wrong end of a temper tantrum. I'm not sure that anyone want's either for their child. 

I firmly believe that the most important skill we can teach our children is how to make good choices. My biggest goal as a mother is to raise children that can go out into the world and succeed. I don't mean that I expect, when I'm through, they'll get every promotion or have a 9 figure income. What I mean by succeed is that they will live a happy, well-adjusted life in which they can clearly decide between good and bad, good and better, and better and best. I want my children to CHOOSE the best. Someday when Ian is all grown up and living on his own he is going to have to make some choices. Some of these choices are going to be hard, and I'm not going to be there to forbid the wrong decision or force the right one. So while he's here, in my care, I'll do my best to equip him with what he needs to face those challenges. I'll help him to practice making decisions and living with the consequences for better or worse. 

With that said, I know there will be situations that he'll want to make a poor decision and there will be times when he doesn't realize how severe a consequence will be. In these rare times parents ought to decide on their behalf. I suppose the challenge here is knowing when to intervene and when to let them chart their own path. 

MORAL OF THE STORY

Good parenting is acting intentionally.     

Oh Baby Baby!

Can we talk for a minute about how ADORABLE my baby is? Seriously, if you don't want to hear me brag on Ian for the remainder of this post, I'd like to direct you to the red 'x' in the upper right hand corner of this screen (upper left if your a Mac user). OK sure; sometimes he wails and screams and keeps me up all hours of the night, and maybe he scratches me with his baby razor claws while he is nursing. But the rest of the time he is the cutest little bug, I really can't get enough! I am so very in love.

I submit for your approval exhibit A:

And he was only 3 days old!

From there it really only got better. He is getting such a personality! He is growing up so much too. He can hold his own head up for a good long time as long as there is something interesting to look at. 

exhibit B:

please note the chunky baby double chin

Yet through it all he remains the same sweet baby.

exhibit C:

6 and a halfish weeks old

For further evidence see my instagram or facebook profiles.

I love in the morning when I get him out of his bed to feed him he always tells me about how very hungry he is by putting both of his hands (or mittens) in front of his mouth and makes a growling/grunting sound as though he is in fact SO HUNGRY he will eat his own hands. Or sometimes how he will get one random hiccup, that sounds more like a single bark from a little yappy dog, that will startle him and he will look around as if to say "whoa! what the heck was THAT?" 

While I am so happy and blessed to watch him grow and explore the world around them, a part of me wants him to stay a little baby forever. Of course, not the part of me that changes the diapers. I hope that many of our friends and family get the chance to meet him before he grows out of this precious age. We will be on tour in Arizona at the end of May, so fear not. 

{Moral of the Story}

 I have a REALLY cute baby boy.

 

Bring on the baby

On Tuesday I had my 38 week appointment to check and see how things are going. Well, they're going. Or so I thought. 

As of Tuesday morning I was 4cm dilated and 80% effaced. Cool beans right? So then I went to work and shortly thereafter started having pretty regular contractions that were a quite a bit stronger than what I had grown accustomed to with Brackston Hicks. I have to say, I was getting pretty stoked. In pain and discomfortable maybe; but it was a means to an end. 

Fast forward through my whole workday, all night, and the whole next work day: still contracting...still pregnant. I gotta say there's nothing quite like an 8 hour work shift while in labor. Except for two 8 hour work days with little sleep in between.  At my most productive I think I'm almost half as efficient as I otherwise have been. Unless I'm having a contraction, then all productivity immediately ceases.  Why not just go home you ask? Good question, I guess it's because slow help is better than no help (win for the co-workers) and being on my feet might make him actually be born sometime this century (win for me) plus it gets my mind off of things a little. I'm terrible at doing nothing. 

That's not to say there aren't things I should be doing (like statistics homework or studying for that test I have coming up way too soon). I just prefer to pretend  those obligations don't exist. Grocery shopping and blog posts about still being pregnant are a much better waste use of my time and energy.

{moral of the story}

This kid doesn't really want to be born.

Anticipation

I could tell there were a few people that were wondering if I had my baby yet because I noticed a jump in my statistics when I logged on to write this post, glad to know I'm not the only one that's feeling a little (OK maybe a lot) antsy. Also, I hate to break it to you but I'm not sure that blogging will be the first thing I do after I deliver -I'll want to shower first I'm sure.

Alas. Still pregnant. I have a feeling that he wont make me wait till March 11th, but who knows; with the way this pregnancy has been going, and with how much I've been loving it, (p.s. for the entirety of this post this will be the sarcastic font.)  I'll get to carry him even longer. That would just be my luck right?

Oh, so here is me at 37 weeks and 1 day. 

I think I look less blimp-like in maternity clothes. note: next pregnancy wear them more.

 In other news, we have accomplished much good this week. If our little boy comes, they will let us take him home because we just picked up our car seat and stroller, and he will have a place of his own to sleep, AND -ok that's it really but that's all that was really holding us back. I have a free (well freeish, thank you insurance) breast pump on the way. That's all the big stuff taken care of! Of course by big I mean expensive, and I guess they are all fairly bulky items.

Oh! And my mom gets here in TWO days! woo hoo!! I hope he comes soon after that so that my mom doesn't have to sit around and twiddle her thumbs because Ben and I are really not that entertaining to live with. 

 Random Story to Illustrate my Discomfort

Whilst at work one day, I had an older gentleman ask me how far along I was. I responded and told him that I was nearly 36 weeks (at the time, that's where I was at.) He replied with "oh, so you're starting to get to the really uncomfortable stage." I said "yep, getting there..." But inside I had a metal meltdown, Inside I was thinking "Getting there?... Getting there? No sir! I. HAVE. ARRIVED. been here for some time now."  

 Hum... I know there was something else I wanted to mention but I can't think of it... I wonder if my brain cells will return once I'm no longer a parasitic host. Don't get me wrong, He's a cute little parasite that I prayed for and am so glad I am able to have, but it's time to vacate the premises. 

 

Getting there...

So I realized that this year is gunna be a doozy! Mostly just the next couple of months. Not only we expecting a little boy but there's work and school and the regular "life" things.... I don't know what I was thinking taking on everything, after all, I'm only two people! (I may have been saving up that joke for a while...) Actually it shouldn't be all that bad. I'm only taking two online classes and as soon as the little one decides to make his way into the world I'll have maternity leave, plus my mom is going to come up around the time Bebe comes to  help with the little "life" things for a while. I would say I've got it pretty good. 

Now all we have to do is get ready for him and pick a name. Ben knows what he would name him and I know what I would name him. Sadly, they are not the same names... awkward parental moments already- awesome. 

In other news: I'm pretty sure I'm pregnant with the HULK. Not because he's green or particularly large- at least, I don't think he's green... the ultrasound wasn't in color. But what leads me to this conclusion is that he is mighty! For reals, after he has been particularly "active" I'm sore in that one spot! Parental abuse maybe? At least he seems to be healthy, that's what's most important.

I also made Ben buy a daddy book so that I would feel like he was being more proactive. Actually he just picked a gender neutral baby prep book, but I'll take what I can get. (Thanks for humoring me, babe.) The other night after I noticed he was reading it I asked what he's learned about being a dad so far and he said that most of what he read doesn't really apply to him yet. I was a little put out until he told me it was because it was about breastfeeding, I guess he doesn't have the proper anatomy for that, so I got over it. 

I don't think that any baby shower invitations got mailed out to people that aren't in Rexburg or maybe they got lost in the mail or something. Either way- I'm sorry if you have been waiting outside your mailbox everyday only to find your mail person greet you with bills and ads instead of cute blue invitations. Please accept this digital version instead:

Also, here is another link to the universal baby registry, not that I've learned anything new about bottles or bedding.

We also took some maternity pictures when I was nearly 32 weeks along. Feel free to gush. If anyone in the Rexburg area is looking for a good Photographer I highly recommend Natasha.  Natasha's Website.

favorite

we were trying to make a heart...

other favorite

I told Ben I wouldn't put some of them on here (like this one) welp, I lied.

I look a little uncomfortable, that's pregnancy for you though! plus that duck is dang cute.

{Moral of the Story}

I'm still Pregnant, but I think I'll make it...

Elephant sized

This week Ben and I got back from Arizona where we spent Christmas with our families. :) I love that place so much! And to think, when I was in High School I thought anywhere else would be better. So I was wrong. It's been known to happen! 

Another awesome thing that happened this week was I hit the 3/4 mark. WooHoo! I have 9 weeks and some change left in this pregnancy. Maybe I'll make it after all. I still feel like I have everything left to do before Jr. arrives though. We have almost no baby stuff. Not even a single diaper. We're going to make such wonderful parents, don't you think? I'm kidding, we're not THAT bad. (except for the part about not having a single diaper, we actually are that bad) We just haven't purchased much in the way of baby equiptment, but we I have everything all picked out. Here! Just see for yourselves: 

 All the things Baby could hope for!

OK. Confession: maybe it doesn't have EVERYTHING on there, but what can you expect from a first time mom? You should have seen how dumbfounded I was when I clicked on the bottle section of amazon.com!  Why on earth would they need that many different types of bottles?! So, after a slightly major meltdown I picked one or two types to try out. I figure if we like them we'll get more. I'm still not even sure if they'll work with expressed milk. I'm not that clueless about everything baby, just bottles and little things like that where there are 57.34 trillion options and they all have 4 star ratings. 

Oh! I also recently broke down and bought my first maternity clothing items. I got two shirts that I love and two different colors of bands to hold up my pants. I love them, except they only sometimes hold my pants up. If I bend over or sit down too many times without adjusting and I run into problems. I've come to terms with the fact that pregnant ladies aren't meant to wear jeans comfortably. Mostly the reason I love them is because I can look like I'm dressed but can still have my pants unbuttoned. For those out there that are still lost on what I'm talking about, they're basically just spandex tubes you wear around the tops of you're pants/skirts/slacks.  

Anyways here are some pictures!

This was at 27 weeks

And this is how much I've exploded to at 30 weeks!

 I know it kind of looks like I've got a volley ball under my shirt, but it's just baby. Kind of depressing, hu? I've outgrown my baggiest tee shirts and have now moved on to Ben's. Honestly, I think I'll out grow his before this kid is done with me. 

Unbuttoned

The good news is that I can still fit into the clothes that I wore pre pregnancy. Can I still button up my jeans? yes. Will I go crazy after about 5 minutes of having them buttoned? yes. Solution:

Rubber band

 

 

Alright so maybe it's a little ghetto, but if I hadn't blogged about it none of you would know the difference. Plus now you'll have a trick up your sleeve for when you ate a little too much turkey . :) 

24 weeks

Just a short post this time, but the only thing I've been up to is being pregnant.

Large and in charge.

Well, Large anyways. I no longer fit into somethings that I once could, sadly the things that I can no longer fit it I wear very regularly . Guess this means it's time to get some new scrubs and a trip to the distribution center. 

Good news is that I've only been inexplicably nauseous (a.k.a: caused by something other than being hungry or a wiff of something gross)  like twice in the past week! And my back isn't as tired as it was last week. I still only get heartburn occasionally. Maybe this isn't the golden period of pregnancy, honestly, I don't think I'll get one of those; but it is so nice to feel him move around and have a reminder that while this may suck, there is actually a living moving baby that's going to be here when it's over and he is my baby.

This week Ben has been able to feel his son move around. He's actually excited now, guys! I knew it would happen, I just wasn't sure it would happen while I was still pregnant. :) 

I didn't post last week because I didn't have much to say but here's pictures of the bump from then and now. 

19 weeks

20 weeks

20 weeks and the feet are going, going.....

 

It's a baby...something!

Old wives tales:

• If you’re carrying your baby mostly in your hips, you are most likely having a girl. If you’re carrying more out front in the tummy, you’re likely having a boy.

• If your unborn baby's heart rate is higher, above 140 beats per minute, that means you're carrying a girl. A lower heart rate below 140 bpm means you're having a boy.

• Legend has it that the Mayans determined a baby's sex by looking at the mother's age at conception and the year of conception. If both are even or odd, it's a girl. If one's even and one's odd, it's a boy.

• If you're breaking out like crazy, blame it on your girl babe. The belief goes that girls steal their mother's beauty, hence, those annoying zits.

• Morning sickness throughout the first trimester or more means a girl. Little or no morning sickness points to a boy.

As we have all read in prior posts, nausea and I go hand in hand. At my second appointment the baby's heart rate was 161bpm. To the untrained eye, I don't look pregnant at all. I was 21 in June 2012 when we planted out little pea in the pod. I've got zit's like I'm back in High school.
Yet, after all of these signs pointing to little pink Tu-tus we're still having a baby boy. We never did the wedding ring on a string test though, so I don't have 100% proof that old wives tales are crap.

So that's the BIG REVEAL. Ben is so darned thrilled with himself, we can't get that stupid grin off his face. Honestly, there was a part of me that wanted a little girl just to see how he would handle it. ...Next time. We both wanted to have a boy from the beginning though, Ben wanted it because he thinks he'll have more fun playing with a boy and something about carrying on the family name. I wanted one because it hasn't been done in my family since my dad, and I just always have wanted my first child to be a boy for reasons I've never had cause for. 

18 weeks!

{Moral of the Story}

Old wives tales are unreliable and IT'S A BOY!

Bumps in the night

Good news guys! I really do have a baby growing inside of me! This last week I 1) grew a bigger bump over night. 2) Felt the little person move! 3) got his/her very first baby clothes. But one thing at a time. 

Here's the bump:

SEE!  told you it got bigger! p.s. sorry my phone takes cruddy pictures, we'll buy a real camera someday soon. 

Now for the really fun part! It was probably like Friday or Saturday night I was lying there on the couch thinking about the baby and wonder how things were going in there, (it's amazing how clueless you can be to something happening inside of you...) when I realized that I was/am far enough along that I should be able to feel it move so I tried to lay even more still and after a while.... nothing. So, I got up went about my normal business and later went to bed. I decided, what the heck, I'll try it again and shortly later I felt this little.... twitchy fluttery movement it the babies room! It's awesome! Now I feel it all the time, as long as I'm still and not too focused on other things. I'm so glad to feel something in there instead of just being tired and nauseous and hungry all the time.  (By the way nausea is still the same, maybe week 18 will bring my relief...cross your fingers.) The last couple of nights when I feel the baby move (and Ben isn't up late doing homework) I'll grab Ben's hand and put it where I feel the kicks/elbows and ask if he feels it. I know it's not strong enough for him to yet, but it's fun to try. That is, until I wake him up for the umpteenth time for the same old nothing... I mean it's not nothing but, well, you know!

Oh, so! side note:

 Just as I was typing that little section I could feel the baby moving like crazy so I told Ben to come see if he could feel it, and he thinks he might have!!! :) The kid practically jumped out; for sure the strongest movement I've felt thus far. 

This weekend I also got to see my best friend Kendra and her husband Ty. I know them both from my hometown in Arizona, so I think of those friends as my favorite. Not that I don't love you all. We just had time to meet up for lunch and it was so good to see them again. Plus they came bearing gifts for baby! We haven't really bought anything for him/her yet because we're still calling it him slash her. (Actually, we call it him. I asked Ben what were going to do if it is a she and we've been calling her him all this time. He said that she would never need to know...) Anyways, So Ty and Kendra got us our very first baby clothes! Its a package of four 3 month onesies and our favorite one is just grey and in silver letters it says "loved". So perfect! There were also some wipes and baby lotion and baby wash. I gotta say, I'm really excited to have a baby, March 11th seems almost too far away!

 {moral of the story}

It's more fun being pregnant when you can tell there's a mini-human in there.

P.S. Last week to vote... Just click one up there at the top right of the page. you won't be sorry. Unless, maybe you guess wrong.